Marrying into a different religion or culture can be very hard on a couple. There are a few tips and suggestions a future husband and wife should think about before the big day. Remember every family is not like yours, their traditions and beliefs are probably not going to be remotely like yours at all.
Communication
This is the most important key to any successful marriage. But, its even more significant when culture is not the same. There will be a number of things you will have to discuss pertaining to the differences, such as, what religion should we raise our kids as? Where should we be buried (if one side of the family still lives in a foreign land), How should our marriage be lived? One spouse will always have to make a change. Compromising is something both husband and wife will have to learn immediately. It won’t be easy either.
Holidays and Vacations
Holidays will never be the same. If your families live in different countries you will be splitting the holidays up in different countries. Don’t get jealous of your friends who can zip across town to their in-laws on Christmas day. You will have to plan each holiday out, buy expensive plane tickets and pack up your kids. When you are at your in-laws their traditions will probably be 100% different than what your family does. But eventually, after a few years, you will adopt their traditions into your own and it will seem normal to your family.
Instead of going to the Caribbean or Mexico on a vacation you will be traveling to visit family. If one side of the family is still living in another country you may have to plan to go there instead of experiencing a family vacation with each other and your kids. But how else is family going to get to know your children? It’s important to stay close to family.
Learning
To help your spouse feel more at home, sometimes learning the language and culture can take a little stress off of your marriage. Not only will you give your spouse a more comfortable feeling, you will be learning new things. Some day when your children begin to speak you will be able to help them learn a new language as well. When visiting your in-laws, you will be able to speak to them and show them you are truly trying to “fit” into their family. Most importantly, now they can’t talk about you in their native tongue around you! haha!
Children
When two cultures are being combined it can be hard to decide on a few things for your children’s up bringing. What religion, what culture should you bring into the home, what if we divorce, what country should are children live in? There are so many different types of questions that will arise. Hopefully as husband and wife, you can sit down and have a very mature conversation about what to do for your children.
Some great advice to a successful marriage is to have open communication. There will be arguments, but learn how to take a break or walk away, breath, and collect yourself. After you have calmed down, then talk about it. Try not to put your “in-law” family down. Always, remember that’s where your perfect and loving spouse came from!
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